Crackbook

Here's a little monologue I wrote, I think this explains it all LOL.

The Man at Starbucks: By now I'm sure you all have seen the movie "The Social Network." I've got to say I loved it so much but in a way it's kind of sad. Does anyone ever meet anyone in person anymore? And when did a friend request replace a simple hello. Well I'm not going to lie I LOVE FACEBOOK. It truly is a great thing to keep connected to old friends and keep tabs on the people in your life. I say keep tabs but most people refer to it as Facebook stalking. 
Now before Facebook there was a simple thing called Myspace, I have to say that's where my social network addiction started. A friend of mine was like, you have to check out this website it's like your own personal website and you can reconnect with old friends. So, like if my friends jumped off a bridge I joined Myspace. I actually found it pretty fun. I reconnected with old friends and then suddenly this random thing started to happen. People I didn't know started requesting me as a friend. It was cool and scary. Most people were like "I saw you on my cousin's high school friends friends list" or the dreaded, "I know you were totally wasted last night but it was really cool meeting you."
First came people who wanted to be your friend and then it became your friends playing Myspace matchmaker. You found yourself at 2am Myspace chatting with someone who your friends thought you would be perfect with. I have to admit it was easier than going to a bar, but then the 20 extra pounds I packed on sitting at a table at Starbucks drinking latte's glued to laptop didn't help. After many Myspace failed fix-ups, one actually seemed like it was going to work out. I met someone, he seemed really cool, yes he seemed really cool. We liked the same things and clicked. We chatted, then we called each other and then finally met in person. It was great I saw him across the bar and I swear Air Supply's Making Love out of Nothing at All was playing in my head. I thought this was it! I win! I found someone, it went great for a while and I found myself checking my Myspace 40 times a day and checking his too. Now on Myspace when you would go onto someone's page a song they chose would play, to this day I still can't listen to "Superfreak" without thinking about him. Then something happened, I became that crazy person who questioned everything I saw on his Myspace. See that's the problem with Social Networks they make easy for insecure people like me to go crazy over the tiniest little thing. Needless to say that relationship ended.
I totally became a different person after that, I swore I wouldn't date anyone I found on Myspace that is until the birth of Facebook. This took Social Networking to the next level because you were tricked into thinking that Facebook was for classy adults and professionals. I mean that's how it started but then it turned into a new Myspace. So there I was at Starbucks sucking down latte's glued to my laptop. And guess what, once you switch to Facebook you have to friend request all those 500 people you had on Myspace. But I stuck to my guns and didn't date anyone I found on Facebook, I couldn't I mean last time I almost turned into Glenn Close, thank goodness my ex didn't own a rabbit. I'm not gonna lie I flirted, A LOT but I truly didn't show any interest in someone unless I actually met them in person first. So I stopped falling for a friend request and turned my Starbuck's time into actual alone time. I could sit there for hours relaxing, reading or just writing.
It's funny all this time I spent at Starbucks made me a regular and the staff knew me by name, they knew my order and in the middle of all this social network craziness I made friends, without friend requests. I thouht to myself I should either work here or date someone who works here and then he was hired...


Total fiction, but somewhat funny. But truly scary because Myspace and Facebook does this to people LOL