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Thursday, September 8, 2011

I weighed less today than I did yesterday.  Like 1-2 lbs less.  I'm hoping to be less than 115 tomorrow.  It could be possible.  My fast is going well.  I feel hunger but I don't really want to eat.  Or even drink anything for that matter.  I need to leave early so I can pay my phone.  I have to wash the dishes (so no one will know that I didn't eat because washing the dishes is easier than trying to figure out how many dishes to dirty and how to dirty them).  I really need to clean my room because it's getting really messy, but I never have time.  I have to work and when I'm not working I have so much shit to do around the house (dishes, laundry, ect.) that I don't have time or I'm too tired.  If I didn't have to pay my phone, I would work on it today but after reading and commenting on blogs and making this post, I kind of lost the extra time I had.  I'm sick of working 6 days a week.  I really wish I could just work 5 and have like 6-8 hour shifts instead or something.  But no.  I have to work 6 days and get 4-7 hour shifts.  And I have to work everyday until Friday of next week.  I work a 12 1/2 hour shift and they don't give me a day off until next Friday.  Like WTF?!  I have to work 10 days straight and close 5 of those days and one day was a 12 1/2 hour shift.  I hate my job.  But I doubt I'll be able to find another job that gives me enough hours.  So I'm stuck with it until I can either move or go to college or something.  But my room really needs cleaned.  I hate it.  I'm always running into/stepping on/knocking over things.  It's really getting on my nerves.  I said I was going to post pictures of clothes and things but I really need to do the dishes and get ready to leave, so maybe tomorrow or something.  My mother decided she's going to have my daughter over this weekend.  I have to work 4-10:30 Saturday and 10-4 Sunday so I'll only see her from like 10:30 am Saturday until like 3:30 Saturday and maybe a little Sunday morning but that's it.  I'm going to be exhausted and in a terrible mood.  I'm probably going to end up having a breakdown soon with all of this shit.  So yeah...  I was in a good mood earlier up until D decided to call me to ask for money.  Again.  No.  No.  And no again.  Dumbass needs to get his shit together.  He claimed he had a flat tired and that it was going to cost $30 (the same amount of money he asked me for last time) to fix it.  He claimed his friend would send him the money through Western Union tomorrow and he would pay me back.  His friend can just wire the money today.  I'm not giving him money.  And he got all pissed at me because he said he always gives me money when I ask him for it.  Bull.Shit.  I would ask and ask and ask for him to pay me back when I used to loan him money and it would take weeks to months before I would see any money.  My phone is due today.  I told him that and I told him that if I gave him the money that I couldn't pay my phone and that it would be shut off.  And he still got pissed at me.  The only time I will loan him money will be when he goes to turn in his divorce papers and I will be there and watch him do it because I don't trust him.  And then I'll have like 20 days to turn mine in after that.  I'll shut up now before this gets any longer.











~Kes

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